This is My Life

So I am a big music person. I love music and the way the lyrics can be related to certain events, times, feelings, etc. in our life. The past few months there have been various songs that I have really related to at different times. Today I was listening to my ipod on my way back from Show Low and I was listening to the CD Prayer of A Common Man by Phil Vassar, who is one of my all time favorite singer/songwriters. I had just listened to it a few days before, but today I was particularly listening to the lyrics. The first song on the CD, This is My Life really struck me today. I have listened to it several times before, but for some reason right then I really liked the words.

Fat cats just getting fatter
Lining their pockets
What does it matter?
All I want is an honest wage
A piece of ground where my kids are safe
80 bucks to fill my truck
Old man telling me times are tough
Sticking it to the middle class
Well, they can kiss my price of gas

Its time to speak my mind
Hey-- this is my life
Woa – woa this is my life
Hey--yea this is my life
Woa-woa
Yea, and I want it back

Republican or democrat
Well, I don’t give a damn about that
I want a chance to do my job
Pledge allegiance to my God
Talkin’ heads trying to buy my vote
I’m just trying to pay my note
I’m a husband trying to be a father
Raise my son and raise my daughter

Can you hear me?
Hey-- this is my life
Woa – woa this is my life
Hey--yea this is my life
Woa-woa
And I want it back

Well, I’m just standing on the edge of the brink
I will not go quietly
I’ll tell you what I think

Its time to speak my piece
Squeaky wheel always gets the grease
One single voice don’t matter
But everybody’s screaming up the ladder
Gonna get the attention of the man on top
Make it louder, shake and rock
It might just come tumbling down
Spread all that wealth around

That’s what I’m talking about
Hey-ya this is my life
Woa – woa this is my life
Hey-hey-yea this is my life
Woa-woa
This is my life
This is my life


The bolded part is what really struck me. I have realized lately that in life I tend to be more of a reactive individual, rather than a proactive person. I let things happen to me rather than making things happen. While in some instances this is just fine, I think that it is time that I start taking charge of my life and making things happen rather than just letting things happen to me. I have always been pretty good at dealing with whatever comes my way. And this weekend I realized that the thing I have the hardest time with is the unknown. If I don't know what it is I am dealing with then I have a really hard time, but if I know what it is I can deal with it, no matter what it is. Does that make sense? I guess it is like FDR said.. "All we have to fear is fear itself." I do not do well with the unknown. I do not like not knowing how someone feels about me or not knowing what is going to happen. Perhaps that is where my irrational fear of aliens comes from. I do not know what is out there and it freaks me out.... Hmmm interesting thing to ponder.

Parking Garages and Ditching Class

So today I headed off to school with my car packed up so that I could head to Show Low after I was done with class. I got to the parking garage and began the normal quest for that lucky spot that has just been emptied by a car. I scanned all 4 levels with many other people searching for that holy spot. And did so again. And again. And again. And again. I went through the whole thing about 4 times. I passed the same people several times. One Nissan Xterra with 3 guys I passed about 5 times and each time we would kind of laugh at each other because we were in the same boat. Well after going through the whole flipping thing several times I decided I would just break down and park in the pay by the hour parking garage, I could spend $8 if I had to. Well.... It was FULL!!! So I decided to check the Institute parking one more time. As I was driving back I called up Carrie to vent. I told her my circumstances and said you know if I can't find a spot now I am tempted to just ditch and head up to Show Low. She said I should. (Isn't she wonderful?) :)  As I was heading up to the 2nd level I see 3 guys walk down the ramp... My 3 friends from the Xterra. They raised their hands in the air and laughed. My windows were down and I called out, "You got a spot??? That is sooo not fair!!" They laughed and so did I, as I continued my hopeless quest for a place to put my poor car. Well... There wasn't one. I never passed by at the right time to find someone leaving. Of course I tried stalking a few people, but none of them were ever leaving. Sooo I wound up not going to class and went and got frozen yogurt and headed up to Show Low. I am now sitting on the couch trying to ignore my Vietnam War books and watching Jeffy dive for the kitten that wandered into the house. :)

Overall a pretty good day...

So Tuesdays are my long days. My institute class starts at 12:25 and I am in class until 9 at night. Long, but  for the most part it is usually pretty good. Today I left a little bit later than I usually do, about 11:15 until the usual 11. I was worried about having time to make sure I got a parking spot (we have a 600+ parking garage for Institute, but there are over 2000 kids signed up for Tuesday Thursday classes, soooo you don't have a guaranteed spot.) Typically I wind up finding a spot on the top level of the 4 story parking garage. Well today I got practically the closest spot to the Institute Building. YAY!! Of course on the coolest day so far of the school year I would have to walk the shortest distance, it couldn't have happened on one of those 110+ days, but hey I ain't complaining! Then later institute started. Class was GREAT today. It was one of those days where the Spirit really knew what I needed to hear and be reassured about. Those days where you feel like everything is being said especially for you and there are little cue cards that everyone is reading off of so that you can hear what you really really need to hear. (Ha I just got this great little visual of angels standing on the side with multi colored cue cards...) Anyways! Then at the end of class Brother Calton presented Terrence, a guy who got baptized about 6 months ago, with a brand new set of scriptures that some of the class had gotten together and purchased for him. By this time I was already a bit teary from the Spirit and then when Brother Calton handed him these beautiful scriptures and Terrence broke down from his emotions I started crying more. (And of course now I am crying again remembering it!) It was great to see how he felt to receive his own set of scriptures, it was a really nice moment. The whole class was just really good. My teacher has all of these really interesting tidbits of information and is just a really good teacher. He said some things that I really needed to hear. He reminded me that Heavenly Father has a reason for everything that happens in our lives and that there is a purpose for all that we go through and that happens. There was some other things, but that is all I feel like sharing. 

Fried Brain...

So for school I have MASSIVE amounts of reading. Like I am reading 28 books this semester, which is 8,301 pages... And I am writing 12 essays this semester, plus all of the in class, exams, discussion board posts, etc. writing. Today, like most days, I did a bunch of reading. I finished two books today which is a total of four books finished! Anyways, by the end of the day my brain is just totally fried. No brain cells left, which seems totally wrong because one would think that expanding your mind all day would have the opposite effect. Nope! It equals a fried brain that leaves you quite slap happy at the oh so late hour of 8:30. I was playing with Adelaide and we were being silly and laughing. Then Erik came in and asked me what a cat burglar is. For some reason this struck me as the funniest thing and I promptly started cracking up. Of course he is standing there going, well what is it?? And I am going I have no brain cells left! This resulted in me laughing for no reason for about 2 or 3 minutes with Adelaide laughing too and Erik just wanting to know what a cat burglar is.

Now I have a dilemma. Well, I have lots of dilemmas but I am trying to deal with my many issues one issue at a time so that I do not become even more... issued. (One issue is that I have a thing with ellipses.) :) ANYWAYS!! So my current dilemma is that my tried and true form of relaxation was always reading. Well now that I have several hundred pages that I am reading each week, reading is not exactly the most relaxing thing for me right now. So I have been taking advantage of the DVR downstairs. I have now watched all of the recorded episodes of NCIS, which is the greatest most addictive show EVER! I now know how Kate died, well actually someone already told me before I saw it, but now I actually saw the episode. I now understand so much more about the show! Now I have a bunch of House episodes and Early Edition. Soo... I don't remember what my dilemma was. Apparently I have solved my dilemma. I think I do that quite often, I make an issue out of something that really is not an issue which leads to more issues. There!! That is my dilemma. :) How do I stop making my life more complicated than it really needs to be?

Long Term Good....

So. You know those decisions where you really really want to do something, but you know that for your emotional and mental well being you just shouldn't? It is never anything bad, but just you know that by doing it this thing will probably do more harm than good for you in the long run, but it would be really nice for the moment. Well I have had this experience both yesterday and today. There was something that I ohhhh so wanted to do, really wanted to do. However, I knew that doing this thing would be more detrimental in the long run. So I was strong and did not do this thing! YAY!. Right? I have to keep telling myself that my decision is best for me even though at the moment I am wishing I had made the opposite decision...

Blogging

So the question is, how long do you think this will last? Me blogging that is. I have played with the idea of starting a blog off and on for awhile now. Of course the other night the name of it came to me... it was almost as if a mattress had struck me and gave it to me... Oh wait a mattress did strike me. Perhaps that is where I shall start the blog.

You see, I am this unique individual who manages to get herself into all sorts of interesting predicaments, like getting stuck under her mattress because she is looking for something. Or getting stuck behind her dresser because she HAS to plug her clock in behind the dresser. Of course I do not realize that these things are going to wind up so... absurd, until I am in the process of doing them! My friend Carrie told me yesterday that I should just not move. She said that I appear intelligent until I begin moving, and then my true colors come out.. I am a klutz and quite often a complete and utter blonde. But apparently I am also intelligent!! :)

Today was definitely another blonde day. My first major moment happened in institute, before class started. I had been talking to a friend that I haven't seen in over a year, and I realized my hair tie was not in my pocket. So I figure I had left it in my car and proceeded down the stairs and across the gym to run out to my car to grab it... Then I looked down at my arm and realized that I had placed it around my wrist. Of course I had!! So I turned around and walked back across the (full) gym and up the stairs and sat back down in my chair. Perhaps I should not move... After this,I had two exams, one on the French Revolution and one on the American Revolution. In my first class I walked in the door, found the class full as always and proceeded to knock a podium off of a chair and knock the chair over. Of course there are 40 people in the room silently, desperately trying to study at this moment and hear I am causing a racket and throwing things all over! Luckily my professor took pity on me and came to my rescue. Then after finishing the exam I proceeded to my next class where I had more mishaps. First I wrote my name on my blue book, when apparently we were not supposed to. Next I flipped over the test, when once again we weren't supposed to!! NEXT my phone went off during the test as I had forgotten to turn the sound off again. The whole class of 50 people and two teachers promptly swivel and stare at me... as I writhe in my seat uncomfortably. Last but not least my pen runs out of ink and the T.A. has to loan me hers so she can read my test! By the time I left campus I was most definitely ready to be done!

So my blog title is blogging, but really this blog is not about blogging, but about me being a blonde and my misadventures! And since I am extremely tired, I could go off on some tangent about that, but I believe it is best if I stop while I am... not ahead?