BUNNNNNNYYYYY!!!

As I was walking Glock today I thought, you know, walking a puppy is a lot like going on a walk with an inquisitive 4 or 5 year old kid. "What's that?" "What's making that noise?" "What does this smell like?" "What's that spot on the road?" "What about that spot?" "Ohh, what about THAT one?" "BUNNY!" "LIZARD!" "BUNNNNNYYY!!" Half the time the puppy is trailing behind you, slowlllly walking, examining everything. You are creeping along trying to encourage him to go faster, walk beside you like he is supposed to. After all, you don't want it to look like you are dragging this poor puppy down the road. The other half of the time he is either right beside you (YAY!) or is charging off after something. "BUNNY!" "LIZARD!" Your arm is getting ripped out of it's socket by a 5 month 50+ pound German Shepherd puppy, oh wait yours isn't? You don't have a German Shepherd puppy? I pity you. :) Even with your arm leaving its socket and you loving and hating this phase, sometimes wanting that mature well trained dog that he will eventually grow into, you can't help put smile as he looks up into your face, smiles his puppy smile and licks at your hand. Love my monster puppy.

The wild mustang escape

So Thursday afternoon I picked up a few bales of hay, planning on unloading them later in the evening. Well that didn't happen. So Friday morning I had to unload them as I needed to feed my horses!! To unload the bales you have to go down to the road, up to the gate, up through the pasture and to the barn. So I drove to the gate and the horses were standing relatively close to it. Now they have been right there several times before when I have brought hay up, and they have always just followed the truck hoping to snag a mouthful of hay. Well as I walked up to the gate I had this thought, "Maybe I should go get Drew or Dad to come down and help me." Nah, it will be fine. Well as I was driving through Geronimo would decide that it would be fun to slip out the gate... The first thing through my head was I better hurry and get those gates shut, because I will be SOL if Lucy gets out! Then "crap, crap, crap"... or something along those lines *ahem* came out of my mouth. There was my 2.5 year old skittery mustang out on the road!

When it comes to my animals I am a worst case scenario person. I just KNEW a truck was going to come along and hit him, or something equally as dreadful. Of course he is prancing around, snorting and blowing and just looking beautiful. So I walk over to him and grab his halter and make it to the gate. Well Lucy is standing there and I couldn't get the gate open, hold onto him AND keep her out of the way. So as Geronimo walks away from me I climb through the fence and jump in my truck. I tear through the pasture to the other gate by the house and run into the barn to grab his lead rope... it wasn't there! "Where the heck is it?!!!" Or something very similar to that... I then realize it must be in my room with my saddle. Yes my saddle sits in my bedroom, sue me. So I run inside and yell to Drew, "I really need your help!" As I run to my room Elizabeth and Enya are freaking out yelling, "He's running away!" Just shut up you guys!!

I grab the lead rope and run back out. I jump back in my truck and tear back down through the pasture looking around to see where Geronimo had gone. He see him in our neighbors empty gateless pasture. Drew was standing guard at the gate. So I walk over there with lead rope and a chunk of hay in my hand. Drew calls out, "Well at least he fenced himself back in!" I walk about 15 feet away from Geronimo and ask him "What are you doing you dork?" He looks at me and comes trotting over, snorting and blowing and stops about 6 inches in front of me. He grabs the hay and I grab his halter clipping the lead rope on. *Sigh*. We head back over to our house and Dad comes out and yells at me to grab onto his lead rope tighter, surely the horse was going to bolt and get away. He hands me some gloves to put on. I do and then take them off. Geronimo does NOT like leather gloves. It makes me wonder if the lady who owned him for a bit didn't smack him with gloves. Or maybe it was the guys at the BLM who always wore gloves that scared him. Who knows, but I stick them in my pocket and he moves over to the other side away from the gloves. Now when it comes to me he doesn't hardly ever bolt or spook that much. He was a little skittery walking back, but nothing bad. So we get to the gate and I take him in. Dad had already headed up to the barn to chase Lucy up there and to wait to unload the hay. As I let Geronimo off his lead he takes off and starts running up to the barn. As I drive closer I can see Dad smiling as he watches him. I back up through the gate to the barn and get out. I look at Dad and say, "You gotta admit he sure is pretty when he runs!"

Later, after quickly getting dressed (and forgetting to brush my teeth) I head upstairs to leave. Janice tells me that when I was getting his lead rope Geronimo had taken off across the meadow on the other side of the road. She said he was just running and then stopped about half way across and kinda looked around. She said it was like he thought, you know this is really too far away from home, I better get a bit closer back. So he turned around and wound up in the neighbor's pasture. I love my dorky horse. Even if he is a bit of a trouble maker. That's how Amadeus was too. That's how I like my boys! Sweet, but a bit odd and a little bit of a trouble maker.

Stereotypes?

So I have just had this topic on my brain lately. It is one that comes and goes and when it comes it really aggravates me. I like to think that I do not fit into any one kind of group. I never have. However, I have had people try and neatly shove me into a group and call me things. I have been called a cowboy, a valley girl, etc. Now if you know me you will know that yes I actually do have some "cowboyish" tendencies. I love my truck, I love my horse, and country music is my fall back favorite. However, that being said I HATE being considered a cowboy. As quick as you call me that I will turn around and want to put on one of my many many pairs of heels, and get all pretty. And if I may so myself I look pretty good in a pair of heels. Or I may want to put on my imitation converse, a pair of slacks and a t-shirt. Or maybe I will put on one of my outfits that has gotten me called a valley girl. In addition to all of this I have been asked by many people at work if I was a cheerleader in high school. I am never quite sure what to say to this.. Ha um no, sorry I was about 60 pounds heavier in high school, NO I was not a cheerleader.

I may have some characteristics of different stereotypes, but I HATE HATE HATE being considered any one of these things. I think that there are people out there that do fit into some of these stereotypes, but I am not one of them. Some may say that this is because I am unsure of who I am. And that may have been true a few years ago, but now it is really just because I have a wide variety of interests. I like being a bit eclectic and surprising people. There is something really fun about wearing a skirt and heels to work, and then getting out of your dirty truck with hay in the back wearing said skirt and heels. Then later being in the same truck in an old pair of jeans and tennis shoes. Why would I have to fit into any one group?

Puppies and Horses

So I have had Geronimo for about 6 1/2 months now. He is 2 1/2 years old and the dorkiest horse I have met. He has such a funny and mellow personality most of the time, but is also the herd leader so he has to be the first one to look out for danger. This means that he is usually the first one to leave the barn if he thinks something might hurt them. While he is a bit jumpy, he is only mildly so. He doesn't have a major freak-out, and it is always easy to handle him. Yesterday Dad and I went out to work with the horses (on an extremely windy Taylor day) and poor Geronimo got traumatized. :) Dad was going to work with Lucy and in the end Geronimo got a bit spooked, which involved him bolting a bit. Even with his little bolt he was super easy to handle and just made me fall in love with him a little bit more. So while we were out in the wind Dad asked if I wanted to thrown the saddle on him, so after I bit I decided sure why not. So he went in and got my saddle and we put it on him. I don't know if it was Dad, the wind, or the combination of both but he was a bit more difficult than usual to put it on him. Then Dad goes, "Get up on him." Ha, in the wind and after you have him all sorts of traumatized? ... Okay. :) So I went inside and put on my boots, just in case he wound up on my toes while I was getting on him. So I came back out and did a little test mount. Totally fine, just a little tense on his part. So then I get up on him. A little bit of a startled step forward, but Dad had him and he was fine. :) So I rode him around for maybe 10-15 minutes. He was a little jumpy, but nothing bad. For the first time being on him ever, and as far as I know I am the first person to ever get on him, he was great. Dad told him he better get used to it, because it was going to be happening a lot more in the future. He was pouting a bit, his lower lip was sticking out and Dad was making fun of him, but he did great. I just love my dorky horse. Dad took a couple of pictures with his phone, but since we just had the halter on Geronmio, he had the lead rope so couldn't take great pictures. So yes that is me on my horse, even if you can't see my face!

 So, I never posted about this, just because first I didn't want to talk about it, and then I just haven't posted in forever. Back in October my 7 almost 8 year old Amadeus died. I have lost dogs before, but this time was the hardest. I had had him the longest and had the strongest bond with him. Usually it is about 6 months before I get a new puppy. Well after just a couple of months I realized I needed a new puppy, the hole he had left was a lot bigger than usual and I needed something to fill it up. I knew I wanted another German Shepherd so I started looking. I checked the classified ads and looked at breeders websites. I found two breeders that were in the valley that I emailed. One offered me a purebred puppy for about 1/3 the usual price. One of her females had gotten to two of the males and had one sable male puppy (which is what I decided I was going to get). After looking at the possible fathers and the mom online, I just didn't feel good about him. The other breeder had a litter to be born in about a week. I had been looking at her website several times since about December and decided to tell her I wanted to reserve a puppy. She told me that I was the fourth person to reserve a male, and she wasn't sure how many males the female would have as she usually had more female puppies than male puppies. Well on the 26th of January she emailed me and said that the mom had had 14 puppies, 9 males and 5 females!! I had my puppy. :) So the first weekend of April I will get to go pick up Glock and bring him home. I had to come up with a "G" name as this is the G litter.

Happiness

So it has taken me a long time to realize this, I have slowly developed this understanding over the past 2 years, but happiness is not a place, it is a state of mind. It is something you decide to be. Sure there are elements that may help you be happy, but in the end it is a personal choice. You just have to decide that whatever the circumstances you are in, you are just going to try your best to be happy. Obviously there are times and situations where you have to remove yourself and change things to be happy, but that is part of life. Ultimately, happiness comes from within yourself, not from the things around you. As a Latter-Day Saint I have always been brought up knowing that you can't find happiness in drinking, partying, sleeping around, or anything like that.

Why do I bring this up? Well I have had friends in the past and friends now that seem to forget this. People who have been raised in the church like I am, but through various circumstances and reasons are looking for happiness in other places. I have had "tipsy texts" or drunk calls from friends who I dearly love and care about. They are some of the people that I care most about and truly want them to be happy. They are people that I know are truly amazing people who can do incredible things with their lives. For different reasons they become unhappy with their life and think that they will find happiness by "going off the deep end" and/or going inactive. It has been awhile since I have had a really close friend do this and I had almost forgotten how hard it can be knowing that they are not going to find true happiness in the course they are taking. It is hard letting them know that I care about them and will never judge them on their choices, but knowing that ultimately they are not going to be happy in their current direction. I can honestly say that I do not judge these friends, I know from my own life that things happen that make you feel like you aren't going to be happy in your situation and that something has to change. When you feel like you have tried everything else, I can understand why they would feel the need to change the way they do. It is not our place here to judge others for the things they do, but rather to let them know that we care about them and want them to be happy, even if we do not agree with the choices they are making. And hope that eventually they really will find the happiness that they are looking for and deserve to find.

Long Time No Post!

Alright, where to begin! So last I posted I was still working at the high school. (Oh how I miss that.) Right before Veterans Day my dad informed me that I was being moved to the elementary school. After a horrible day, yeah he told me first thing in the MORNING, I went to the valley and the next Monday started at the elementary school. During that last day at the high school I spent the whole day either sobbing or trying not to cry. Poor Joey worked in on me crying in the office. Pathetic.

So the first day at the elementary school I was in the 1/2 class doing Math Lab. Most boring day of my LIFE! Next day I was moved up to the 3/4 class. Hey guess what you guys, they really did not need me up there! Another boring few days. Oh guess what the 5/6 teacher quit, so you are filling in until a new teacher is found. Yep I was a fill in teacher for a few days. It was actually pretty fun. Then I was moved to the Kindergarten to be a personal aide for a new... girl... *monster child*. After about two months of that and telling the bosses *AKA my dad and step-mom* that I was not cut out for this position I had a lovely break down and convinced my poor dad that it was not working. So now I am in the 2/3 class and my dear cousin Drew has taken over the girl. It isn't as exciting as the high school, but it is much better than Kindergarten. I have now, this year, been in every class but the 4/5 classroom.

Alright that gets us to the present day work wise. (Well down and dirty fast anyways!)

ACK!!

So I am sure most of us have been in a class and thought "why the heck do I have to know this??" I know I have been, but dealt with it and moved on. You realize, especially in high school, that you learn things that do not feel applicable to you and your life. Especially in life. And you want to know what? Some of those things really are NOT applicable to you and your life. Can anyone tell me when you are really going to use the quadratic formula? Anyone? I mean really. Sure I can still sing it to myself... -b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac over 2a. Whatever. Have I used it since then? Nope. Okay but what about surface area? Volume? Area? Heck yeah you use them. If I want to figure out how much paint to buy to paint a room, I need to know how to figure out surface area. If I want to fill something up and find out how much I can fit in there, that is volume. So yes, you use those things, correct? Unless you are my high school students are would rather waste the money that they do not have and will not make by just buying a bunch of paint, or run to Home Depot a billion times for paint.

You try to teach these kids and realize that you have to do things in a way that they can relate to. There are many teachers out there who use rap to teach different math terms to their kids. There is part of me who loves this idea, "Hey I can get them to learn it using something they like!" Then there is another part of me that says, "What the heck, why do I have to subject myself to something I hate in order for them to learn it? If they want to learn it, they need to apply themselves more." However, there is the problem. They do NOT want to learn it. They do not CARE if they learn it. Why should they? What is in it for them? What is the point? What good is it going to do them?

How do you inspire a bunch of kids to want MORE out of their life than they see around them? I cannot imagine being happy working at Burger King for the rest of my life, or living off of minimum wage. No I am not a snob, but hey you know what? I LIKE driving my truck. I like going out to dinner every now and then. I LIKE not living paycheck to paycheck. I plan on being able to retire at a decent age and having retirement set aside. It frustrates/irritates/saddens me that these kids are totally cool not having goals or aspirations. They feel that they are entitled to certain things, but do not take advantage or responsibility of the things that are rights. How can you have a free education shoved in your face and ignore it? It isn't like I loved high school, but I went and did my best. Am I ever going to use the calculus I learned? Probably not, but you know what, I like having that knowledge in my brain. I like knowing why when I jump on a trampoline the airplane over my head sounds different. (Thank you Mr. Flaherty senior year Physics!) Here I am 23 years old and putting myself thousands of dollars in debt to get an education. Yes, I complain about homework and how I will be in school FOREVER (and I will be), but at the same time I LOVE learning new things. There are days where I want to throw certain textbooks in the fireplace and yell "BURN BABY BURN!!" while I enjoy the bonfire that results..., yet I love gaining new knowledge. Am I the most intelligent person on Earth? No, just sitting around some of my cousins is dang good proof of that!! :) I will admit that I probably do not always reach my full potential, but I at least have some desire to improve myself and to get an education.

I have a billion more things running through my head right now, but I also have a billion more things that I need to get done today.

The Weirdest Kids on the Earth....

I swear, I have THE weirdest kids on this planet. Honestly. I love them all, but they are crazy. I decided that I really need to keep a record of the things that happen around here. Not only are the kids crazy, but we are too. Today, the first day back after Fall Break, was insane. I had moments in the junior high room where I just got soo depressed about the things that they do not know. (Did you know that Gettysburg is a disease??) Only a couple of them really could tell me ANYTHING about the Civil War. All I got from them was that it was fought between the South and the West? or East? or North? Or maybe it was West side against East side.... And it was fought because of slavery. Okay, that I was expecting. In today's world, everyone is taught that the Civil War was fought because of slavery. Welllll no not really. Yes, slavery was an underlying cause, but that is not why it happened. However, that will be another blog... ;)

Not only did they not know about Gettysburg and the Civil War, but there is a sad lack of any sort of awareness. Most of them had never even heard about "Remember The Titans" let alone seen it. I decided we need to watch it next semester when we talk about Civil Rights. Only two of them had seen "Amazing Grace". I told them I would give extra credit if they watched it at home and wrote about it. I doubt any of them will, but at least I tried! There are so many good movies that could honestly do some good for them! Yes I am a bit of a movie person, but hey a little entertainment never hurt anyone! (Apparently I REALLY like exclamation points...)

Oh and we had a mini lesson in junior high history about how long decade, score, century, and millenium each are...Of course only one kid had ever heard of a score and knew what speech it is in. "Four score and seven years ago..." Which makes me think of "Four s'mores and seven root beers ago..." Are you out there Alyssa?? :)

Perhaps one of the reason the kids are the weirdest kids is because they have the weirdest teachers on earth... This morning in morning meeting Joey was giving one of the girls a hard time as it is her birthday tomorrow and she didn't want anyone to know. He told her we would get the Chippendale dancers to come in for her. I started laughing and pointed to he and Michael and said, "Yeah Chip n' Dale." So Michael put his hands up and started swinging his hips which was followed by Joey doing the same. Of course by this time I was just cracking up. I don't think most of the kids caught it, but it was hilarious. Then Michael said that we weren't supposed to tell about his night job. Yeah these are the guys I work with.

Not only do we harass the kids but we harass each other. My co-workers in the high school decided that I was the popular girl in high school. HAHAHA. Yeah. Right. Joey was teasing me and said he has been thinking about taking me out on a date so all of his buddies would think he hooked up with "some young, hot thing". I don't think his wife would like that very much... He then went on to tell me that his buddies are already talking about me.... Yes how would you like to go from being over-weight in high school to suddenly being a high school teacher and having the kids say you are the hot sexy teacher. It is weird and totally hilarious.

Ohh okay so today's craziness with my high school kids. So we were giving one of the boys a hard time as he and his family went to Disneyland over break and he wasn't terribly excited about it. We asked him if he had a good time and he sort of shrugged and said sure. We asked if he got to hug Mickey and he said that they didn't see him. We asked about Minnie and he asked, "Who?" "You don't know who Minnie Mouse is?? You know Mickey's girlfriend??" "No." "Well did you see anyone, Goofy, Pluto??" "Well, I think I saw the dog." .... "Matthew you should be banned from Disneyland. You aren't even allowed to enter through the gates." I think I saw the dog. Seriously? Then later, when all the kids were back inside, Joey, Jeanette, and I were talking about it to each other from across the room. Mathew said something about Snow White and we teased him about how he know Snow White, but "just the dog..." Well Ambsey heard us talking about Snow White and "the dog" and pipes up, "What are you talking about Snoopy about??" Yeah Snoopy. Gotta love these kids.

Anyways, there is a brief glimpse of my crazy, crazy kids! Oh yeah, the picture at the top is one of our high school kids, wrapped up in duct tape.

Trying New Things

So last week I broke out of my comfort zone and tried something new. Amazing, I know. I know several people who have started doing zumba and loved it. I had been looking into taking a class, as they have a couple here in Snowflake/Taylor. So last Tuesday I decided I would take the plunge and do it. I looked up the address of where it was held at and about a quarter 'til 8 got in my truck and headed towards the end of Snowflake. When I got into my truck I got this nervous feeling. "What if I make a total idiot of myself????" Okay that was really the only thought going through my head, but it was repeated over and over and over... When I pulled into the parking lot I wondered if I was in the right place, until I saw the earlier class inside the windows. Then I sat in my truck and wondered if I should go in....

Eventually Jackie pulled up and I went in shortly after she did. At 8:15 it started. Holy. Cow. It was sooo much fun!!! True, my hips do not typically shake and shimmy (seeing as how my left hip pops in and out of place), but it was a blast. I had a hard time with "Keep your toes pointed forward!" FORWARD??? IN??? WHAT!!!?!?!? My toes do not point forward or in! They point OUT. Try starting dance at 3 years old and then at 23 have someone you are not supposed to turn those toes out. Ha. Yeah, doesn't work so well for me. So my toes remained pointing out. After an hour of dancing, getting some of the moves easily, and totally messing others up, I was sweaty and felt great. The next day my arms were sore. Yeah, my arms, weird huh?

Anyways, it was great fun, and good for me to try something new. My next step is to go to the Singles Ward up here on Sunday... I have never been big on the Singles Ward thing, but I decided to give the Snowflake one a try. I am kind of feeling the need to have SOME sort of interaction with people my own age. Who would have thought?? :)

Long time no blog...

So, I have obviously not blogged in AGES. Even now I am not entirely sure what to blog about! It is more of a "where the heck do I begin??" sort of problem. Life has become even crazier than it ever has been before in most ways. Things are changing, life is moving on and I am going crazy! :) 


Today I got on ebay and picked out a saddle. A saddle? Yes for my crazy carrot hungry Geronimo. I have the hardest time with him discerning what his previous owner has done with him and what he just accepts. He has such a great personality. Yesterday he had a saddle on him and I just kind of hopped up while leaning on the saddle. He was a little unsure but didn't bolt or anything. I could probably get up on him without too much of a rodeo. I can't wait until he is ready to ride. :)

Unity and Trusting

So today in Relief Society the lesson was on unity. During the middle we got off on a tangent about being accepting of people and helping people we don't know. A sister in the ward shared how many people from other wards will not smile or say hi to her. I am not sure where she is from, but she is of Latino heritage. So we discussed how many people in the church often times do not know how to interact with members who do not "appear" to be the "typical Mormon". This then led to a discussion about how in today's world many people will not stop to help others. One sister, who is from Tonga, shared that in Tonga people are still very welcoming and will bring people in off the streets to make sure that they have food and shelter. She then said that things like this just do not happen in America anymore. Other sisters said that this was because there are so many bad people in the world that it just is not safe anymore. I can remember being little and going on trips with my dad and brother, my dad would always stop and help people we came across. I can remember several times where we would give someone a ride somewhere or give them food. I always feel sad now that as a single female it really is not that safe for me to do things like this. Whenever I come across someone pulled over on the side of the road or anything like that I just have this instant urge to stop and help them. Perhaps this comes from the fact that I am perhaps a bit too trusting. Overall I believe that most people are inherently good. 


 I wonder if one of the reasons we have so much more crime and violent actions is from the fact that people no longer trust each other as much. I think that when a person gets to know you, placing your trust in them can be the biggest boost to them that any person can give. To know that you have won the trust of a good person gives you this lift that you are a good person too, and that someone believes in you. I am a definite believe in second chances, and thirds and fourths... well you get the picture! Now, there are certain things that just don't fly with me, but if someone gets the chance to turn things around and really make a new start out of life, and do it, then I am all for that. 


Okay, as always my mind is all over the place and I am thinking of many different things right now. During relief society another sister talked about how just being pleasant to people and when you have a compliment come to mind, to SPEAK IT! Even if it is to a complete stranger. She was saying how she will be walking down the street and if she likes a person's hair, then she will tell them. These have to be sincere, but it is amazing what a real, kind word and smile can do to an individual. You never know what kind of a day a person is happening, but a kind word or action (like letting someone out of a parking lot or anything) from a stranger can change a day for someone. There are those times where you run across a real sourpuss, but what can it hurt? 

My favorite condiment

Soo during the winter I simply guzzle hot chocolate. Just love it, I think it is wonderful. I mean, what is not to love about it? It is chocolate and it is a drink! But, I don't just do plain old hot chocolate, oh no! I LOVE coffee creamers. And during the holidays you can get all sorts of fun ones, peppermint, eggnog, pumpkin pie, etc. But my favorite is hazelnut. And I have a secret. You see, I really am not a milk person. I mean, there are certain things you HAVE to have milk with. Brownies, chocolate chip cookies, big sunday dinners, etc. But to just drink a glass of milk?? No way jose. Not me. Not happening. Unless... you mix in some hazelnut coffee creamer!! Suddenly you are drinking hazelnut flavored calcium!! What could be better? The last few days my body has been craving something sweet and calcium. (Not sure why the calcium, but the sweet is typical sometimes.) So, rather than indulging and getting ice cream or chocolate, I pull the milk out and add in the hazelnut creamer. Suddenly that evil looking glass of milk is a yummy hazelnut drink! Perfect. So, those yummy creamers are more than just for hot chocolate, but can be used in milk too! :)

The Divine Investiture of Authority

So yesterday in Institute we were covering the last 3 chapters of 2 Nephi. We started talking about various places in the scriptures when it is actually God the father speaking, and not the Savior. This led us into looking at various scriptures where the Savior is talking FOR the Father, places where the Holy Ghost is speaking for the Savior, and etc. We then discussed about how President Hinckley once said that the Presidency of the church is just one of the presidencies, and how there is a Heavenly presidency. This works in with how the Godhead is one in purpose, but not one in body. Anything that one says stands for all three. We will never receive doctrine or council from the Holy Ghost or the Savior that our Heavenly Father would not give us himself. We also looked at the chain of how important this makes the promptings we receive from the Holy Ghost. If the Holy Ghost can speak for the Savior, or speaks for Heavenly Father, then promptings are like a command from God himself. When we teach by the spirit of the Holy Ghost we are teaching with the power of God. When you really look at it that way, it kind of blows your mind. Promptings from the Holy Ghost are not just mild suggestions, but they are personal revelations to YOU from GOD himself... Makes you think twice about all of the times that you get ideas or promptings or thoughts put in your head and where they are coming from doesn't it?

On a Prayer

So this is perhaps one of my most favorite songs ever. I have a lot of most favorite songs, but I just love the message of this one. It is by Garth Brooks and it is the theme song to the movie Frequency. I don't know how many times I have felt like the first verse of this song. You are just barely making it through life, everything is tossing you about, you feel as if though your very soul is lost and broken and you just don't know what to do or where to go in life. Yet, suddenly you see that lighthouse that is always there just shining without fail, waiting for you to go towards it. The Savior is always there with his hand outstretched waiting for us to grasp onto it. There are times where you feel like you don't have the energy of even the desire to grab on and all you can do is weakly reach your own hand out and let your Savior make up the difference. No matter where you are He is always there, constantly believing in you, even when no one else does. There is nothing that we can do to change His ultimate love for us. So often it is difficult to believe that anyone has so much love for little ol' you, but it's true. Just keep on holding on and fighting. Sometimes all you can do is fight for yourself.

There's a ship out
On the ocean
At the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about lost and broken
Wandering aimlessly
And God, somehow you know that ship is me
There's a lighthouse in a harbor shining faithfully
Pouring its light out across the water
For this sinking soul to see
That someone out there still believes in me

Chorus:

On a prayer
In a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Ahhh, raining down against the wind
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again

There's a moment
we all come to
in our own time and our own space
Where all that we've done
we can undo
if our heart's in the right place

On a prayer
In a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Ahhh, raining down against the wind
I'm reaching out til' we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again

And again I see my yesterdays in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery
You're changing all that is and used to be

On a prayer
In a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Ahhh, raining down against the wind
I'm reaching out til' we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again
(When you come back to me again)

Fun Times

So lately I haven't really had time to go and do anything with anyone. Not that there are a lot of people that I do things with, but I hadn't seen Ashley or Karen for quite awhile. So yesterday I made plans to meet up with Ashley. We made plans to meet up at 6 at the mall. We always meet in the same place at Chandler Mall, in Barnes and Noble. I got there early, and to pass the time I did what I always do, checked out the bargain books and then lost myself in the travel section. Ever since planning the trip to England last year, the travel section is just wonderful to me. I love looking at the books and imaging all the places that I so want to go to. Within the travel section are currently some calendars. I always like to look at the calendars of America and wonder why there are no pictures of Idaho in any of them. Well yesterday I found 3 different ones that had pictures of Idaho, and two of them had them on the cover! The first one was Lure of Fishing. I looked at it, and I am thinking oh wow! I know that place! It had a picture of a fisherman casting his line in Little Redfish Lake. There was no title for the picture, but when it is a place you have gone to every year of your life, you are able to recognize it. There was another calendar that was American farms, and for one of the winter months it had a picture of a farm in Idaho. The third calendar was from National Geographic and it was American Landscapes. I looked at the cover picture, and it was of the Stanley Basin, pretty much what the view is like from our cabin. Then, I was looking at this book of 500 places to see before you die. I flipped to the back in the index to see where there were in Idaho. There were a few different places, but the last entry was the Stinker Station. This made me laugh, and say no way! Yeah, I am one of those people who talks to herself out lout in a public area. So I flip to the page and there number 485 under 10 places that go blink in the night is the Stinker Station. It gave a short few line description about it and then last line says that while there are several throughout the state, something about how you will be able to find the one at 1777 Kimberly Road, Twin Falls. This just totally made my day. This is the Stinker Station that we would always drive by and my dad would take us to get hot dogs at when we were little.

After Ashley got there, I had to show her my discoveries and then we started wondering around the mall. We had mucho fun. :) I am pretty sure that every store we were in we erupted into random and really loud and long laughter. After shopping and an interesting time in Bath and Body Works where I talked her into buying stuff and then talking myself out of buying stuff we decided it was time to eat so we went to the Cheesecake Factory, where we were seated about 3 feet away from these two guys. Both Ashley and I had to restrain ourselves from piping in on their conversation a few times. At first it was awkward, because here you are trying to have a conversation and there are people you do not know sitting right next to you.

Through Heaven's Eyes

So, today's song is "Through Heaven's Eyes" from the Prince of Egypt. I was listening to this this evening on my way back to the house. I love every verse of this song, but today the part that struck me the most was about learning to join the dance. I mean this song has a great message about looking through heaven's eyes, but it was just the thought that you have to make an effort and JOIN life, you have to join the dance and take an active part in it. I don't know what it was about today that made that just really strike me. Today was one of those emotional roller coaster days. If you are a girl, you know what I am talking about, where you are just weepy and down and there isn't much you can do about it. 


A single thread in a tapestry
Through its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountain's mighty face
Does it think it's more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heaven's eyes

A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king
If a man lose ev'rything he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heaven's eyes

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heaven's eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes

Butter, Milk, and Honey

So in my Institute Class at the beginning of each class a student has about 5 minutes to teach the class about what they learned from that days of reading. The past few classes have been covering the Isaiah portions of 2 Nephi. Today was chapters 17-24. You know a lot of us read the chapters but do not have that much understanding about what we are reading. We know that we are supposed to read them, but you sometimes wind up just staring thinking Isaiah why oh why couldn't you put it in simple English for us??? Of course those who speak Spanish or French or Italian are not thinking that, but you know what I mean!! Anyways, the girl who had today got up to teach us. She talked about the verses that say Butter and Honey. She then went on to explain that the butter and honey had confused her until she realized what butter was and that it was the same thing as milk and honey. She then went on to explain what milk and honey represent. Milk is revelation and scripture and honey is repentance. She explained all of these things to us and then sat down. Brother Calton gets up, looks at her and says "Where did you COME from? Are you for real? That was amazing, I don't even know what to say now." He then informs us that Lauren has been a member for 8 MONTHS and all of us life time members just sat there flabbergasted and maybe slightly ashamed. Here we have been studying the Book Of Mormon all of our lives and never had any of us gotten that much out of Isaiah. She also spent 8 HOURS studying this section to get the most out of it that she could. Once again you feel yourself go oh my goodness that is just amazing.

This is My Life

So I am a big music person. I love music and the way the lyrics can be related to certain events, times, feelings, etc. in our life. The past few months there have been various songs that I have really related to at different times. Today I was listening to my ipod on my way back from Show Low and I was listening to the CD Prayer of A Common Man by Phil Vassar, who is one of my all time favorite singer/songwriters. I had just listened to it a few days before, but today I was particularly listening to the lyrics. The first song on the CD, This is My Life really struck me today. I have listened to it several times before, but for some reason right then I really liked the words.

Fat cats just getting fatter
Lining their pockets
What does it matter?
All I want is an honest wage
A piece of ground where my kids are safe
80 bucks to fill my truck
Old man telling me times are tough
Sticking it to the middle class
Well, they can kiss my price of gas

Its time to speak my mind
Hey-- this is my life
Woa – woa this is my life
Hey--yea this is my life
Woa-woa
Yea, and I want it back

Republican or democrat
Well, I don’t give a damn about that
I want a chance to do my job
Pledge allegiance to my God
Talkin’ heads trying to buy my vote
I’m just trying to pay my note
I’m a husband trying to be a father
Raise my son and raise my daughter

Can you hear me?
Hey-- this is my life
Woa – woa this is my life
Hey--yea this is my life
Woa-woa
And I want it back

Well, I’m just standing on the edge of the brink
I will not go quietly
I’ll tell you what I think

Its time to speak my piece
Squeaky wheel always gets the grease
One single voice don’t matter
But everybody’s screaming up the ladder
Gonna get the attention of the man on top
Make it louder, shake and rock
It might just come tumbling down
Spread all that wealth around

That’s what I’m talking about
Hey-ya this is my life
Woa – woa this is my life
Hey-hey-yea this is my life
Woa-woa
This is my life
This is my life


The bolded part is what really struck me. I have realized lately that in life I tend to be more of a reactive individual, rather than a proactive person. I let things happen to me rather than making things happen. While in some instances this is just fine, I think that it is time that I start taking charge of my life and making things happen rather than just letting things happen to me. I have always been pretty good at dealing with whatever comes my way. And this weekend I realized that the thing I have the hardest time with is the unknown. If I don't know what it is I am dealing with then I have a really hard time, but if I know what it is I can deal with it, no matter what it is. Does that make sense? I guess it is like FDR said.. "All we have to fear is fear itself." I do not do well with the unknown. I do not like not knowing how someone feels about me or not knowing what is going to happen. Perhaps that is where my irrational fear of aliens comes from. I do not know what is out there and it freaks me out.... Hmmm interesting thing to ponder.

Parking Garages and Ditching Class

So today I headed off to school with my car packed up so that I could head to Show Low after I was done with class. I got to the parking garage and began the normal quest for that lucky spot that has just been emptied by a car. I scanned all 4 levels with many other people searching for that holy spot. And did so again. And again. And again. And again. I went through the whole thing about 4 times. I passed the same people several times. One Nissan Xterra with 3 guys I passed about 5 times and each time we would kind of laugh at each other because we were in the same boat. Well after going through the whole flipping thing several times I decided I would just break down and park in the pay by the hour parking garage, I could spend $8 if I had to. Well.... It was FULL!!! So I decided to check the Institute parking one more time. As I was driving back I called up Carrie to vent. I told her my circumstances and said you know if I can't find a spot now I am tempted to just ditch and head up to Show Low. She said I should. (Isn't she wonderful?) :)  As I was heading up to the 2nd level I see 3 guys walk down the ramp... My 3 friends from the Xterra. They raised their hands in the air and laughed. My windows were down and I called out, "You got a spot??? That is sooo not fair!!" They laughed and so did I, as I continued my hopeless quest for a place to put my poor car. Well... There wasn't one. I never passed by at the right time to find someone leaving. Of course I tried stalking a few people, but none of them were ever leaving. Sooo I wound up not going to class and went and got frozen yogurt and headed up to Show Low. I am now sitting on the couch trying to ignore my Vietnam War books and watching Jeffy dive for the kitten that wandered into the house. :)

Overall a pretty good day...

So Tuesdays are my long days. My institute class starts at 12:25 and I am in class until 9 at night. Long, but  for the most part it is usually pretty good. Today I left a little bit later than I usually do, about 11:15 until the usual 11. I was worried about having time to make sure I got a parking spot (we have a 600+ parking garage for Institute, but there are over 2000 kids signed up for Tuesday Thursday classes, soooo you don't have a guaranteed spot.) Typically I wind up finding a spot on the top level of the 4 story parking garage. Well today I got practically the closest spot to the Institute Building. YAY!! Of course on the coolest day so far of the school year I would have to walk the shortest distance, it couldn't have happened on one of those 110+ days, but hey I ain't complaining! Then later institute started. Class was GREAT today. It was one of those days where the Spirit really knew what I needed to hear and be reassured about. Those days where you feel like everything is being said especially for you and there are little cue cards that everyone is reading off of so that you can hear what you really really need to hear. (Ha I just got this great little visual of angels standing on the side with multi colored cue cards...) Anyways! Then at the end of class Brother Calton presented Terrence, a guy who got baptized about 6 months ago, with a brand new set of scriptures that some of the class had gotten together and purchased for him. By this time I was already a bit teary from the Spirit and then when Brother Calton handed him these beautiful scriptures and Terrence broke down from his emotions I started crying more. (And of course now I am crying again remembering it!) It was great to see how he felt to receive his own set of scriptures, it was a really nice moment. The whole class was just really good. My teacher has all of these really interesting tidbits of information and is just a really good teacher. He said some things that I really needed to hear. He reminded me that Heavenly Father has a reason for everything that happens in our lives and that there is a purpose for all that we go through and that happens. There was some other things, but that is all I feel like sharing.